Networking as an Introvert
Nobody puts Baby in the corner. That’s my spot!
Since COVID, Introversion has become cool; everyone claims to have it. People have co-opted the word to describe their preference for remote working and not wanting to go out.
Real introversion is what I feel every time I walk into a room full of strangers and need to make conversation; my heart races, sweat drips down my forehead, and my mind goes blank while I panic because I don’t know what someone just said to me. My social battery is about as reliable as that old iPhone you threw out—the one that randomly shuts down for no reason.
And yet, I’ve consistently made it a goal to become better at networking, going to events, and actually talking to people to make a connection. To do this, I’ve devised a system that will help combat my natural state of being and turn me into a pseudo-extrovert (at least for short stints at a time).
One connection is a success
It’s important to feel successful after a networking event, apart from the relief of finally being alone. That’s why I set myself one goal—make at least one connection that can exist past that first conversation. That could be a LinkedIn connection, a phone number, or an X follow; often, I ask about their preferred method before sealing the deal.
Focusing on just one meaningful connection takes the pressure off and sets the stage for more. Each positive interaction boosts my confidence, creating a ripple effect—I find myself wanting to engage with more people, especially those with intriguing stories or perspectives.
Dress to impress… myself
Confidence is the secret sauce. Making that sauce is difficult, and I’ve tried many recipes. Stimulants like coffee and inhibitors like alcohol make great faux-confidence builders, but they are both temporary and unreliable. The most consistent boost I’ve experienced has come from how I present myself.
I’ve become more invested in fashion lately and have a pretty decent wardrobe. I find great joy in wearing my favourite pieces, mixing, matching, and trying different combinations. I won’t be on any runways just yet, but the confidence it gives me is unparalleled. I don’t care what people think about what I wear, but I know I project more presence in an outfit I’m excited to showcase compared to a blank tee I bought in bulk.
No backs to walls
There’s no point dressing up and then standing in a dark corner on my phone checking the weather; the rain can wait. The corner is, to be fair, my comfort zone; I can see everyone, blind spots are covered, I’ve already checked the exits, and I’m ready to go at any moment. But who wants to add the weird guy in the corner on LinkedIn?
To achieve my aim of a single connection, I have to be in it to win it. I do find it incredibly awkward to just walk up to a group and introduce myself, but I get accepted into conversations way more often than not. If I’m not accepted, I can move to another group; being comfortable with being ignored is a skill I have to learn.
Don’t be interesting, be interested
Small talk is exhausting, I struggle to make it and struggle to participate in it. It’s never going to be my strong suit, but I do have a skill in listening. I have interviewed many people in my career, and finding the right question to probe for more information has been vital in making the right hire. I try to use that skill to bring out more interesting conversations and get past the small talk before I shut down.
More importantly, just as people remember the one who talked a lot, they also remember the one who made them feel interesting; the person who intently listened and asked insightful questions. That’s not to say I stand there grilling them—I do share a story or two—but it’s a great tactic to build meaningful connections.
Ever improving
It’s still early in my networking career, I’m still practicing these techniques and finding more to test out. I’m trying to see my introversion not as a hindrance but as a different skill set to work with. You’ll never see me in a corner again.